When Priest Pray for the Death of the Pope

I’m rarely shocked by the hate and vileness of religious leaders. I’m not numb to their hateful rhetoric directed toward LGBTQ, women, people of other faiths, and anyone that dares to disagree with them, but I’m not shocked by it. Who doesn’t remember the vileness of Westborough Baptist Church protests at the funerals of fallen war heroes or the Islamaphobic rants of Rev. Franklin Graham? And if you are a person that follows James Martin, S.J. who promotes of a church open to all and open tries to build a welcoming environment for those that are LGBTQ then there is little doubt you have seen the daily hateful attacks on him by Priest and lay alike. Today I was shocked.Screen Shot 2019-03-11 at 5.49.20 PM

As I was scrolling through my twitter feed today I came across a post that caught my attention. It was yet another post that questions what Pope Francis knew about a case of abuse and why he has not said more. The leadership not being open about abuse is not shocking as too many seem incapable of transparency about it. The shocking part was a priest saying “God has a fix for that; it’s called  “death”.” He then apparently had a brief moment of what I interpret as a realization that some may believe what he said as calling for the death of the Pope and followed up by saying, “For the record I abhor contemplating death for anyone. Better to pray for eternal life for all with the Church.” To me, this seems like a difference without a distinction. After all eternal life for all…does require death. While I think he is aware of what he wrote and the meaning of it how can any Priest encourage people to pray for the death of the Pope? What level of vileness is that and what a supreme lack of supervision by his superiors?

There were a couple of people that pointed out how shocking his comment was, but there were more that hopped on board. If we can’t look to religious leaders to promote peace and Church of love then it falls to each of us to let the world know that we don’t pray for the death of others. The laity must take back the Church least within a few generations no one can in good conscience support it. People are speaking with their feet we have already fallen from 75% attending mass weekly in 1955 to 39% in 2017.  Twitter may be our end as the hate in the hearts of too many comes spilling out for the world to see.

I love my Church and I won’t give up, but my days of being silent are over.

 


Is Abortion the Ultimate Child Abuse

I recently read a twitter post about abortion that referred to abortion as the ultimate child abuse.

…It is immoral as well as a violation of human rights and it is also the ultimate child abuse. – Bishop Rick Stika

When I suggested it was not one person seemed to think that means I was insane. Approximately 700,000 children are abused in the United States each year and over 1300 of those dies. Additionally, Child Protective Services serves over 3.4 million children a year. Sadly 78% of the time the abuser is a parent.

In 2017 a couple was sentenced to 130 years in jail after their 9-month-old twin girls were found emaciated, with maggots in the wounds and crib, cat feces on the walls, and they each weighed around 8 pounds. Then there was the case in 2018 of a 4-year old that was so severely burned that the toe fell off and they found burned skin in the bathtub. Supposedly the mother had left the child unattended in a hot bath for an extended period of time. Only after returning and finding the child and then waiting 30 minutes was 9-1-1 called. The child died of the injuries, but only after extreme suffering. There are the parents that sell their children for sex and are only found after years of repeated rapes. Then there is the rape and murder of an 8-year old that was so horrific the medical examiner cried during the trial. There are too many of the cases in our country and so long as we see abortion as the worst form of child abuse we will fail to have the mindset to address child abuse and will continue to think it acceptable to put children in cages for being from another country.

A fetus is not cable of feeling pain until 28-30 weeks after conception because the nerves that carry pain stimuli to the brain are not developed. Nor does a fetus have the ability at that time to feel fear. As horrible as abortion maybe it is not as horrific in my mind as is a two-year-old or six-year-old that is tortured and abused until it is finally killed and all the time feeling horrible fear and pain.

I’m Catholic and understand that many believe that abortion is the ultimate evil act, but I think there are worse things than being killed before you can feel pain and fear. I do not understand how anyone can deny that torture of a fully sentient and aware child is more horrific to that child than is being aborted before 28 weeks. If that means I’m a bad Catholic then we have a difference in opinion in what it means to be good or faithful. When one can’t see the horrors we inflict on children it is no wonder that we do so little to protect them.

There are many evils in the world and when you only allow yourself to see one and turn a blind eye to the others maybe it is time to recognize that you are failing many and giving others the false belief that there is only one grave evil that can be done to children.

 


People Like Me and Racism

I went to the Ash Wednesday service at John XXIII which is the Catholic Center on campus. It was relatively full and it was interesting to look around and see people that I recognized, but whom I didn’t know shared my faith. Likewise, I heard a student say with some surprise, “Isn’t she the Associate Dean?” There is something that feels good about knowing there are people around you that share a cultural identity. It is suddenly a more familiar and safe environment. It is that familiarity and safety that I would hope we could make more available.

I’ve spent the majority of my adult life living in diverse cities and in diverse neighborhoods. Thirteen years in the DC metro area where I was happy to live on a street that boasted at least four languages, three years in Tucson, one year in San Antonio, and four years in St. Louis though while diverse was the 6th most segregated city in the country and once I got to my neighborhood you wouldn’t have known the city wasn’t 100% white and mostly Catholic.

When I came back to Tennessee my husband ask if I was sure. I’m Catholic and I have belonged to a Zen Center for years. Tennessee is the least Catholic state in the country and the nearest Zen Center is either in Nashville or Ashville. When I went looking for “community” I did it with greater intent than I did in St. Louis. I wanted a diverse community and a diverse church. I thought the university parish would be the most diverse and the most socially active, but I was wrong. I found that Holy Ghost was the most diverse parish in the city and relatively socially active so I ended up splitting my time between the two because I want to be part of the university community but also wanted diversity. I have found that I’m no longer that comfortable when everyone is like me and I never again want to live in a segregated community.

The racism, sexism, and homophobia was part of why I wanted to leave Tennessee in the early 1990s. The racist comments on the rock, the lack of acceptance of persons who are LGBTQ, and the recent blackface incident were shocking, but what I remembered. The difference between then and now is the response from the administration. In short order after each incident, the administration had responded with disapproval. That disapproval is being followed up with action. I am pleased that they are leading by example. They have held campus discussions and now are going to require cultural competency, inclusion, and bias training for all faculty, staff, and administrators beginning with the executive administration and it is to be developed and implemented immediately. While the administration and faculty didn’t paint the rock or record themselves wearing blackface they are saying change begins with me.

How has Tennessee changed since I left in 1991? People like me have looked at ourselves and said, where did these young people learn this behavior? And the answer may not be what I did, but what I didn’t do. I have had a fair amount of cultural competency and bias training and even included it in grants and program development, but I still notice my own bias. In St. Louis our program recognized a lack of diversity and in two years we went from 7% underrepresented minorities to 29% in our doctorate program. We didn’t change a single admission criterion, but we did recognize our own bias in the selection and ranking process. It was a painful two years for some of the faculty. They felt called out, but in reality, the change wouldn’t have happened if they didn’t recognize and own the bias and then act to implement change.

There will always be those that ask why they have to go to training when they aren’t racist, didn’t paint the rock, and have never taken part in offensive behavior. My answer is because our job isn’t just to teach or do research. It is to set the example of what it means to be a professional, a good citizen, and a person that can acknowledge their own bias and work to fix it. It is because they are young and they will identify with us. Whether we know it or not they see us.

Cultural competency training is needed and it needs to be ongoing at all universities. Many, if not most, nursing programs now have cultural competency and bias training is woven throughout the curriculum because we know the impact on health outcomes. The inclusion of cultural competency training for students beginning at orientation and global citizenship as part of our new curriculum will be beneficial for the community, the individual student, and for the patients for whom our students will provide care.

I don’t know what it feels like to always be in the minority or to have been the victim of racism. I’m all too familiar with sexism, but it frequently lacks the same level of hatred and hostility associated with racism, homophobia, and Islamaphobia though is likely equally harmful. The more people like me own our part in a culture that has allowed racism to exist the sooner all will feel welcome, safe, and respected.

I’m dedicated to a more diverse and welcoming campus. I’m also old enough to know that when we are silent about the evil that is racism, sexism, homophobia, or Islamaphobia we are complicit with that evil.


Women Mourn Jesus

Lent Obsession

Each year I obsess about what to do for Lent and then like my New Year’s resolution usually fail and give up in short order. This year I will try to fully engage with my spiritual side and give my rational mind a 40-day sabbatical to the extent possible for a professional.

I’m going to intentionally explore areas of self-denial, giving, and prayer rather than just picking some food item I could live without? I live in the world and I see it not as a pit of sin but a beautiful and hopeful place filled with more people of good will than bad intents. My practice during this Lent will be to find the Church I seek in my own spiritual life rather than looking for it others. I seek a Church that isn’t filled with twitter post by angry and vengeful Priests or those that are so rigid in their faith that they are unable to accept others who have different practices. I seek people that see beauty in the world and the beautiful aspects of the Church and the faith. I seek tolerance for all that that are searching. I seek a Church where it is more important to worry about and moderate my own desires than to obsess about the perceived sins of others. I will trust that others know when they are going against their consciences and they will in time address it. My role in their lives is only to provide compassion and when asked honesty that is soaked in love.

My Weakness

I don’t have a pet sin for which I have zero tolerance. I do have great patience for the person that has failed in self-denial of desires and who struggles and fails. At 56 most of my sinning days are behind me. I try to live lightly on the earth, give to charity, etc., etc., etc. However, my weakness is food. I love to cook, and I like to eat and drink wine so it would be hard to deny that I fall victim to the deadly sin of gluttony and spend an excessive amount of money on fine food and wine.

“The virtue of temperance disposes us to avoid every kind of excess: the abuse of food, alcohol, tobacco or medicine” (No. 2290).

My excess can be measured in wastefulness, quantity, and spending more on food and wine each week than a person making minimum wage earns. I’m going to use the CRS Rice Bowl recipes as examples of meatless meals that that are simple and frugal. Whatever I save I will give to the CRS Rice Bowl as a donation.

Prayer

I belong to Zen group and recently someone asks if the members prayed, did we think the prayers were answered and was it embarrassing to admit? My husband could not understand why anyone would be embarrassed by prayer. Being embarrassed expresses a sense of self-consciousness and confusion that should ideally be absent in prayer or meditation. I haven’t been able to let go of that as I have never been able to utter a public prayer. Once Sr. Joan, the Provost at Clarke University, suggested that since I should start meetings with prayer that it might help me to write them down so all I had to do was read them. It did not help.

Lent is the only 40 days of the year. This year I’m going to let myself obsess about religion and faith. My goal is not to be embarrassed that my rational mind loses out to my faith. Rational mind be damned I’m going to try and grow during this season. At my age, it is good for the continued functioning of the brain to learn something new. I’m going to learn some more Latin (good for the aging brain) and practice by attending a Latin mass or two during Lent and memorizing some of the Rosary in Latin. I don’t want to be the person that is so rigid in my faith I can’t be open to the beauty others find in theirs and in this case a Latin Mass. I admit that I have a bias against it. I often associate it with the vengful Priest that are too critical and those that are so rigid they only see the sin in others. It is odd that I hold this view as the one person I know that attends Latin Mass regularly is a very kind young woman. This will be an exercise in addressing my own biases and looking for beauty in a different kind of practice.

Giving is Easy

The easy part is giving. Donating what I save on food and wine to the CRS Rice Bowl is obvious. I will also make a sizable donation to the parish or order of the Priest I read on social media that says the fewest hateful, condescending, or uncharitable things about others. That includes not publicly criticizing what he sees as the sins of others. Fraternal correction is not the same as public twitter comments or criticism. Twitter is filled with blowhards that appear to think being critical of others is their pastoral calling.  I think good behavior should be rewarded and maybe a potential donation will mean something to a parish or order that can help me to see the beauty of the faith through kindness in their approach to the many rather than the few. 

Women Mourn Jesus

Stations of the cross at St. Andrew’s Abbey


I Teach Nursing, Not Political Ideology

I teach the art and the science of nursing. Nursing does not have a political ideology, so unlike what some religious leaders believe I do not teach liberal, progressive, or conservative ideology. I teach science, compassion, and the skills that help prepare students to care for all patients.

I view nursing as a calling and sharing and advancing knowledge as a responsibility. I teach nurses because I love my vocation and I want to nurture those who have a desire to care for the sick and the injured, change health policy, and improve outcomes. My philosophy of teaching is heavily influenced by three factors: 1) a career of serving the poor, the incarcerated, and those impacted by disasters, 2) the joy of being constantly surrounded by young officers with a desire to learn and grow into the future leaders of the vocation, and 3) having seen the profound impact that evidence-based policy can have on lives.

Teaching, like any truly human activity emerges from one’s inwarness, for better or worse. As I teach, I project the condition of my soul onto my students, my subject, and our way of being together. – Parker J. Palmer, The Courage to Teach

I believe a strong liberal arts education, supported by science, serves as a foundation for a well-rounded nurse. This is essential because nursing requires a broad understanding of the human condition, including cultures, religions, and history. Moreover, studying nursing is necessarily an interactive process between the instructor and the student that prepares undergraduates to be novice nurses and helps graduates students to become experts.

Imagine my surprise every time some or religious leader holds forth on how colleges and universities teach liberal ideas. I’m pretty sure the principals of chemistry, physics, engineering, mathematics…and nursing are not liberal or conservative. Even more surprising is when educated people make comments implying that education does not improve one’s life. Not only does what I teach improve the lives of the students, but it improves the lives of all those in their care. The average new BSN graduate will make between $55,000 and $65,000 as a new graduate in a job with security, retirement plan, and health insurance. Many people find that nursing has flexible hours and part-time options are available when one is raising a family or as one moves into retirement. In addition to the obvious advantage of higher income that generally comes with a college degree those with a college degree live on average 7 years longer, have better health, and engage in fewer risky behaviors.

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Of course, a college degree isn’t without a cost. When I attended the University of Tennessee other than my first and last semesters for which my parents funded I either borrowed money or earned it to pay tuition. I managed to only borrow $2000 while living at home for free most of the time. I had a full-time job(s) mostly waiting tables and went to school full-time. It did take me 6 years to graduate, but it was doable because I was essentially paying $243 plus some fees for 12+ hours of credit. The same 12+ hours now cost about $5555 plus fees today. In 1980 I was making $2 per hour plus tips so a little less than $10,000 per year. Add in gas, car maintenance, insurance, clothing, books, supplies, and other incidental expense and I could pay my tuition. However, I don’t encourage anyone to try and work that much while going to school. It was reflected in my undergraduate grades which are still embarrassing.

Today if a person made minimum wage, worked full-time, and lived at home with few expenses other than the ones I had that person would make around $15,000 per year. Tuition would be around $12,000 before books and supplies and in nursing, it isn’t unusual to pay $200-300 for a book. If one budgets $1000 per year for books the total of tuition and books is $13,000. Add to that gas, clothing, car insurance, and all the other expenses and a student going to school full-time would need to be able to live off of $3000 per year. It is not reasonable to expect a young person today to be able to work their way through college without substantial loans.

I think what struck me as most hypocritical about the comment from the religious leader was the suggestion that the students should pay just like everyone else. I’m a faithful Catholic and every year I give to my parish, Catholic Charities, the Bishops appeal (which helps fund seminaries), and various other calls for money. While some parish priests are expected to pay part or all of their education most dioceses help fund the education either wholly or in part or provide loans that the Priest can pay back after graduation, but even then those loans aren’t the full cost. Many religious orders pay the full costs. What if you did expect the young man to pay it all? If he lived at home and went to Kenrick-Glennon Seminary he would pay $26,000 per year. How is it that one would expect a young man to study for the priesthood and work full time to then take a job that with many orders requires a vow of poverty and even more parishioners expect it…of course $100,000 in student loans does almost guarantee at least tempory poverty starting out.

I’m proud of the fact that I worked my way through college and paid for most of it myself. I learned valuable lessons, but I would have preferred to have graduated with a 4.0, have had time to be socially involved on campus, and to have made friends that were not merely associated with my college job. I did work my way through college and it is exactly why I don’t want others to work more than 10 hours a week. College is a time for learning and the rest of life will be filled with work.

As a teacher, my objectives are to:

• Instill a desire for service to others
• Inspire joy in learning and facilitate life-long learning skills
• Develop students that are critical thinkers and exercise sound judgment
• Ensure students master the basics and proceed into the vocation with confidence
• Advance knowledge through service, research, and administration

If religious leaders do their jobs then they might be a little less worried about people like me teaching students the liberal way to change a dressing or start an IV.


I Wasn’t Ready on Day One

My first job was at a boat dock working at the diner when I was 15. I wasn’t ready on my first day and all I needed to do was take orders and deliver people their food. I haven’t been ready on day one for any job since, but I have at least had the skills and knowledge I needed to figure it out.

In college, I learned how to do my research and find the information I needed. I learned to think critically, make reasoned decisions, and plan. The result was I have been successful in every job I’ve had, which isn’t to say there weren’t some bumps in the road. I left active duty and stepped into a full professor and department chair position and moved to an Associate Dean and then Executive Associate Dean position. In my career and in all the positions I held, I’ve hired hundreds of people.

When hiring there are four critical things to consider.
1. What position am I asking the person to fill and how much experience is needed?
2. What are the critical skills and does the person have them?
3. What training and mentoring do I have in place for the person?
4. What do I need to do to make them feel valued and respected from day one?

I’ve never hired anyone that knew it all on day one and didn’t need a little help. Not the new graduate nurse or the experienced physician or the supervisor. Almost everyone required six months of training or mentorship to be a productive member of the team. The more we did to train and mentor the better teammate the person made and the more functional the team as a whole. I used to say of new nurses that universities taught them to think like professionals, but my job was to make them proficient, underwrite their early mistakes, push them beyond their comfort level until they didn’t need me. It was my job to make them feel welcome and valued.

Don’t hire a new graduate with a Bachelors degree for a job that requires a doctoral degree. It won’t be the employee’s fault when they are unable to meet the expectations. Likewise, don’t hire new RN for a job that needs a person with extensive experience. When I was a Chief of Staff my Assistant Secretary started too many days with, “[Profanity], get you [more profanity] in here. Who wrote this [even more profanity].” It was always about a speech he was supposed to give that was written by a junior staffer. After a few incidences, I refused to say who wrote as the result would be a crying junior staffer in my office or a very angry one. Either way it was better to not tell him. Finally, one day I had my husband who has two PhDs write a speech for him to make a point. When I gave it to him without telling him who wrote it he replied, “Now this is what I need, who wrote this?” I took the opportunity to explain if you want someone to write like a person with a doctoral degree you should hire one. Shortly thereafter we hired a speechwriter with a graduate degree.

None of us are ready on day one. The problem is we often forget what it was like to be the new graduate or the new person. I keep a paper that a professor gave back to me bleeding red in my Ph.D. program and before I grade papers I review it. It reminds me what it was like when I was learning. We should all walk onto a nursing floor without saying anything, and take the time to remember what it was like that first day and week and month. Do you remember the day you first felt confident? Do you remember when the fear went away or the first time you ever ask yourself why you ever thought a specific procedure was difficult?

We all have a responsibility to the new graduate. We can’t make them ready on day one to handle a full caseload, but we can give them all the tools they need to be successful. We should never stop trying to make sure they are as cable as possible, but nothing teaches you to draw blood like doing it a hundred times, nothing teaches the best dressing like seeing hundreds of wounds, and nothing replaces experience. I was new once and I’ve never forgotten.


A Hearing without Truth

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. – Albert Einstein

I was able to watch part of the Kavanaugh hearing today. It was all I could do not to cry for our country. We have lost the ability to have a civil discussion partially because those we elected to represent us care more about themselves than the truth and the victims of sexual assault.

Sexual assault is not about sex. Let me repeat this. Sexual assault is not about sex. It is about violence, power, and control of the other person. Today, the 21 people who hold this nomination in their hands were exhibiting verbal violence, abusive power, and control over the other person. The only thing missing was the attempt at sex to disguise it.

I believed Dr. Ford and at times felt sorry for Judge Kavanaugh though I did not believe him. No rational person would believe his statement about his drinking and his yearbook even if one believed the rest of what he said. The Senate could take some lessons from nursing. Even if you think a patient is a horrible human being, a murder, a rapist, or name your evil, treat the person with respect and dignity. Provide compassionate care and the best possible treatment. If you cannot treat the other person with respect and compassion then request to be replaced in the provision of their care. It is a simple rule. Do the best you can do it all the time. Treat all patients as you would want your mother or father treated.

The next thing we teach is that to provide the best care we must work together as a team. High functioning teams build on the strengths of each team member and show respect to all. If we start yelling at each other or treating each other with disrespect then the patient will be the one that suffers the most.  More importantly, when we are focused on ourselves we forget the patient.

I was embarrassed for our country. This does not represent the best in our country. How hard is it to focus on finding the truth and for each American to care more about the truth than political affiliation? The only person that seemed to handle themselves with dignity was Dr. Ford. Everyone else needs to be sent back to kindergarten to learn how to behave. The truth matters and if we cease to care about the truth we are lost.

Man tends by nature toward the truth. He is obliged to honor and bear witness to it: “It is in accordance with their dignity that all men, because they are persons . . . are both impelled by their nature and bound by a moral obligation to seek the truth, especially religious truth. They are also bound to adhere to the truth once they come to know it and direct their whole lives in accordance with the demands of truth. CCC 2467